Articles by Tim Patrick

Tim Patrick writes on a variety of topics, including technical, humorous, religious, and just plain miscellaneous. Most of the technical articles include full source code. None of the humor articles include source code. Sorry.

Google Announces Car Key Search Beta

Humor Times

At a press conference held in front of a T. J. Maxx store in San Jose, California, Google announced today a new search tool for lost car keys.
(NOTE: Published article was edited for length. Original article appears here.)

Congress Passes Health Card Reform

Humor Times

Congressional Democrats mobilized late Friday evening to pass a controversial Health Card Reform package.
(NOTE: Published article was edited for length. Original article appears here.)

Google to Run IRS

Humor Times

Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner announced today that Google will begin management of the Internal Revenue Service's tax collection operation starting on January 1.
(NOTE: Published article was edited for length. Original article appears here.)

Santa Claus Laid Off

Humor Times

The North Pole Board of Directors today filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection for its overnight delivery service, and announced the immediate suspension of division president Santa Claus from his regular gift giving and elf management duties.
(NOTE: Published article was edited for length. Original article appears here.)

God Sues Researchers for DNA Piracy

Humor Times

God filed suit in federal court today against several dozen scientist engaged in illegal copying and distribution of previously licensed DNA.
(NOTE: Published article was edited for length. Original article appears here.)

Cash-for-Clunkers Expands to Include Elderly

Humor Times

The House of Representatives today announced passage of an expanded "Cash for Clunkers" program. The revised legislation allocates an additional $2 billion to the program, and allows cash-strapped households to turn in aging family members for rebates of up to $4,000.
(NOTE: Published article was edited for length. Original article appears here.)

Cover Story: The Gospel According to Napoleon Dynamite

The Door

The church has a new prophet, and he lives in Idaho.

NOTE: A portion of this article was added at the last minute without my knowledge. Please ignore all content starting from the paragraph that begins "To true believers the spiritual parallels..." and continuing through the five-point definition of Dunamis.

Master OOP Fundamentals
VSM

An excerpt from Start-to-Finish Visual Basic 2005 appeared as the "Getting Started" feature in this special edition of the magazine.

Opinion: Basic Doesn't Fit VB.NET
VSM

Read what I really think of Visual Basic .NET.

Manage Stacks of Data
VSM

This article shows how to use the .NET Stack collection class to manage different states of data in your application. The article includes relevant source code.

Overcome Limitations With TabControl
VSM

This article shows how to overcome two issues with the .NET TabControl control, used to group controls in a Windows Form application. The article includes relevant source code.

Put Custom Property Editors on the Map
VSM

This article introduces some advanced features of the .NET PropertyGrid control, with an emphasis on custom drop-down editors. The article includes full source code that implements a location selection tool with a drop-down world map.

Take Control of Print Preview
VSM

This article demonstrates the use of the .NET PrintPreviewControl within your Visual Basic .NET application. It implements a custom print preview form that includes a "table of contents" feature. Full source code is included.

Generate Database Docs Automatically
VBPJ

This article describes the use of ADO and ADOX to reverse-engineer a Microsoft Access database, and the analysis of that database to generate an HTML document fully describing the database. Full source code is included.